No One Else Can Raise Your Self Esteem....It Starts With You.

Material Taken from the Book "Life's Greatest Lessons" Hal Urban
The Chapter  titled ' No One  Else Can Raise Your Self_ Esteem"
Recovery Wellness @ The Circle Thursday 1/17/2013 L.P.Sterling BHP

" Self Esteem is that deep-down inside the skin feeling you have of your own self worth"
Denis Waitly

In Mr. Urbans 'lessons on self esteem, he brings up several important facts  to ponder. In referencing the  above quote, He suggests that real self esteem in not something another person can give you,but suggests, its how we truly feel about ourselves when nobody else is around.
By itself, the word : "esteem" means to appreciate, to hold in high regard, to have genuine respect.
 So self esteem he suggests, really means  self -respect. it's how we feel about ourselves,regardless of what others  say. It's building our own character,.............both a choice and a responsibility.

Mr. Urban tells us "Other people in your life may hinder OR help you, BUT we build our own character,and with it, we determine our level of self esteem.....it's strictly an inside job" .
 From Dependance to Independence

" There is a  time in our lives, when both our self -image and our self -esteem are determined by other  people.When we are  small, we are dominated by the adults and older children that we are surrounded by. We create habits and  start to see ourselves through the messages  we hear from them.  Good messages, good self esteem. Bad messages, bad self esteem.We tend to become what we are told.
The most important thing  to learn is  that ,as we get older, we have to learn to think for ourselves"....
Pointing one finger out , needs  to be the reminder that the  three  coming back at you is  where you have  to start.
It's what /who you have control over and its' who can create new thoughts, beliefs and behaviors. you have  control over.
Elenor Roosevelt once stated : "No one  can make  you feel inferior without your consent"
Mr. Urban  took this  quote and  tells  us "It would  follow then , that nobody can make  us  feel anything  either without our consent" ' He reminds us  that  while its' great to be appreciated, and loved, and affirmed by others, we can not sit around and  wait for others approval. We have  to empower ourselves  to implement things  into our lives  that  make us feel good about ourselves, even without anyone looking or knowing  He suggests, that  when we are rewarded from our own positive actions, the result is we feel good ...from within...not  putting your self esteem in the hands of an "opinion". Others can do much to make us feel good, it's true, but Real Self esteem is respect we have to earn from ourselves."
Once again actions, implemented, build character,self respect and self esteem.
The Main Ingredients of Self  Esteem
 Mr. Urban goes on to say:
" Actually the ingredients of self esteem are so basic and  simple, we often miss it. Despite what the self styles gurus might be saying,truth is ,self esteem is part of a natural process. If you can be consistent in the following four areas of your life,you will never have to worry about healthy self esteem...It will be your constant companion".
1. Be Kind.
It's impossible  to feel good about ourselves  when we are mean,selfish or insensitive to others. How we deal with others , has a mirror effect. The we treat others, the better  we feel.The more we learn to affirm others, the more we grow.People build lives on foundations of respect.
2.Be Honorable
'I admit I have not read about honesty being connected to self esteem, however, I am convinced that iit is essential.I do know that integrity is the corner stone of  high self esteem. As long as you have integrity, you will have  the respect of others and yourself. "
3.Be Productive
One of the seven deadly sins was referred to as 'sloth', which means to be idle or lazy. We know when we are giving our best and we know  when we  are slacking off. Being productive daily, at something  is what builds self esteem. "
Find a way every day that when you look back at your day, there was something that you did  for your own or another persons benefit...make it a habit.
4.Be Positive
We can not feel good about selves or anything,if  we allow our heads to fill with negative thoughts. They may come, but  you have a choice.Give yourself credit for everything, focus on what  you can  do , focus on a forward  direction...daily. Remember, attitude is a  choice,the most important day choice you make"

 All things splendid have been achieved by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstance. ~Bruce Barton

Start today.