No matter how great your plan is chances are that at some
point you will have one or more obsticles thrown your way. Do not let these
obstacles stop you, instead plan your way through them one small step at a
time. Nobody likes to deal with difficulties, but it is often a necessary part
of life if you want to accomplish your goals. Some of the obstacles you
encounter may be small in nature and only require minor adjustments to the plan
you have for yourself. But, others may be large and require you to create an
action plan in order to solve them.
Regardless of what the unexpected problems come your way it
is important to think about the problem and decide on the steps you will take
to solve it. Do not ignore or randomly attack the problem in hopes that
everything will work out for the best. Also, when problems are too big to
handle on your own or when you are unsure how to solve them then get outside
help. Family and friends are often willing to help in times of need, and can
provide the emotional support that keeps you motivated while solving your problem.
In addition, two or more heads are often better than one. Advice from family
and friends can help you find solutions that you might not think of on your
own.
Change is always a bit difficult, but it's even harder when
change is not your choice. When you're pushed into a change, there's often a
sense of shock, because your life is being sent in an unexpected direction, and
you haven't had time to process the changes and get used to the way that your
life will be different. Sometimes it can feel very dis-empowering to have a
change thrust upon you, and it can be a big reminder of all the things that are
outside of your control, which can be pretty scary to realize. And of course
there's always a sense of loss when change happens - you're having to let go of
something, somebody, a role, an identity, or a way of being. And when change is
forced on you, you're often not given the space to process and grieve those
losses.
Keep Moving
When change is thrust on us, we often resist the change, and
try to prevent it from happening, or we try to stick with the plan we had in
place before the change started to uproot everything. As Byron Katie likes to
say, "When we argue with reality, we always lose." When we try to
resist change, we often end up sabotaging our own success because we're using
our energy in wasteful, unproductive, even destructive ways, which causes more
frustration, fatigue and disappointment. When you're putting your energy into
resisting or blocking change, then you're going to be blocking your own
movement forward as well, and you'll find yourself stuck in the middle of the
change process, in no-man's land.
There will always be parts of change at work that feel
difficult, but the important thing about the change process is to not get stuck
in the middle of the change. I like what Einstein said: "Life is like
riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving..."I think all
change in our lives is like that - to keep your balance through change, just
keep moving.
How to "find your balance and keep moving" when
change is thrust upon you
Stop arguing with
reality. Ask yourself if there's anything that you've been trying not to see,
because it would be too painful to look at. Ask yourself what parts of the
reality of these changes you've been resisting and trying to say "no"
to. รขFess up and get totally honest with
yourself about the reality you're dealing with.
Acknowledge the
part of you that's been resisting the changes. Ask that part of you that's been
resisting the change what it's been trying to do for you, by resisting the
changes. Thank that part for wanting to keep you safe, wanting to protect
what's important to you, or whatever else it's been trying to do for you.
Affirm that you're
willing to let reality be, and that you're willing to adapt creatively and
responsively, to use this change to become more of the person you want to be.
You don't need to know how you'll do this yet - just affirm that you're
willing, that you're saying "yes" to reality and to your own resourcefulness.
Express your
disappointment, sadness, fear and anger - grieve. Active grieving releases
stress, which will improve the quality of your thinking, and it's also another
way of keeping moving.
Get out of other
people's business. If you're thinking about the way you want other people in
your workplace to change, so you can be happy, then you're in other people's
business, and you're focusing on something you have very little control over -
other people's thoughts, feelings and behavior. If you're focusing on what you
can't control, you're putting your energy and attention into things that you
probably can't change, which will only frustrate and dis-empower you even more.
Focus on what you can control (your own thoughts, feelings and behavior), and
you'll empower yourself and give yourself the reward of getting successful
results for all your efforts. You'll also have a lot more energy for responding
creatively, because you're not wasting energy trying to change stuff you
probably can't change.
Notice and cut out
victim language & complaining. When you're using victim language, like,
"I must... I should... I have to..." or saying things like, "I
couldn't help it when I..." or complaining about the things you can't
change, then you're affirming destructive and dis-empowering ideas such as the
idea that you don't have choice in how you respond in life, that you're not
responsible for your actions or reactions, and that you're responsible for
things you can't influence or change. This way of thinking and speaking will
only make you feel awful and depressed, which will make you more likely to get
stuck in the changes.
Decide what's
important to you.When a change is thrust upon us, we often try to claw back to
our previous goals and to focus on some specific thing we want that we're not
getting. Realise that there are actually infinitely more different ways of
satisfying what you need and creating what's important to you in your work -
even if you can't see them right now. Take some time to get clear on your needs
and values at work. As yourself, "What's important to me in my work, and
rank your answers, so that you know what's most important to you, above
everything else. Write about it, articulate it, talk about it. Be willing to
say what you need and talk about what's important to you in conversation with
other people in your workplace.
Start to ask smart
questions, to uncover the Flipside, and the hidden opportunities. Questions are
a powerful way to re-direct your attention and become aware of opportunities
and options available in your industry that you hadn't noticed before. So start
to question whether your current assessment of the situation is true, and
whether there are other ways of looking at the situation that would present you
with options and opportunities you hadn't seen before.
But does that mean
I have to let other people do whatever they want to me in my job?
Adapting and
responding creatively to change doesn't mean accepting everything that other
people try to make you do. When you're resisting change, your focus is on
trying to make the other person change or on trying to make life into the way
you think it SHOULD be. When you're adapting and responding creatively to
change, you're saying, "Yes, I acknowledge that's the way things are"
and, realizing your own power, you're staying in the game and stepping forward
to add your own contribution that flows from what's most important to you.
Perhaps the most important thing to realize about the change
process is that it takes at least as much energy to adapt and respond
creatively to change as it does to resist change. Often we think that resisting
change is the easiest option, and that's why we so often do it, but letting go,
committing to the game and being willing to adapt and respond creatively is
much, much easier, and much, much more likely to get you the results you want.
Author: Cath Duncan Resource:http://www.careerjunction.co.za/career-advice/coaching-by-cath/top-tips-for-dealing-with-unexpected-and-unwanted-change-at-work-163